Addiction & Recovery Blogs

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Understanding addiction is an important part of CRAFT. We see drug addiction and alcohol addiction from the inside out, and that understanding addiction angle to CRAFT helps us to be effective as we counter the pulls of addiction with other, sober activities.                The Advantages of CRAFT Groups:

CRAFT sobriety groups give support to those who have an addicted son or an addicted daughter, as well as support for those who have an addicted spouse or partner. CRAFT sobriety groups  also give/receive instant, honest feedback. As important, you will have chances to practice new skills. Towards understanding addiction, the more you practice, the easier it will be with the real conversations with your addicted loved one. The third advantage is you will have an opportunity to learn how others handle drug abuse and alcohol abuse  situations.

Three Major Goals as a Recap:

Reduce loved one’s harmful substance use.

Engage the user into treatment or into staying in treatment.

Self-care. Your emotional, physical, and mental wellbeing, and that is independent of substance user’s behavior. So however it goes, you look after yourself. 

CRAFT Session “The Roadmap”: Information on Functional Analysis (FA) of Loved One’s Drug or Alcohol Using Behavior:

The Functional Analysis (FA), is kind of a road map and includes the who, what, where, and when ways of seeing your loved one’s substance use behavior. It is also the “why”. It is a way to see patterns which can then help in developing new responses to addiction triggers. It is also a way for you to see things from their perspective. For example, people with substance use disorder do not necessarily think of the substances as the problem. Towards  understanding addiction, they might see these substances as the solution. So, what might be healthier ways to access the positive consequences currently associated with the substance abuse? This is some of what we go over in this session. We do a deep dive and you, as family members, are well suited to have the insight needed to answer the questions in each of the columns that we go over. You know your person’s drug abuse  or alcohol abuse history over time, and you have contact, even if your loved one lives away. 

For this roadmap, it gives us real and specific understanding addiction insight that can be used to reduce your loved one’s substance use and to get your person into treatment. Right there, those are two out of three of the primary CRAFT goals. 

Know their triggers. First, people don’t often realize, with addiction, it’s not the reward that necessarily drives addiction. It’s a lot of the negative states, the numbing or escaping of those negative states, as well as anxiety relief and craving satiation that often drive addiction. And it's often the cues in their environment that trigger a lot of the drug or alcohol cravings. What are those external triggers towards drug or alcohol use? (People, places and things). What are their internal triggers towards drug or alcohol use?  (thoughts, emotions, feelings). What do you think they think about right before they abuse substances? What do you think they are feeling right before they use? What are all their perceived positives about using and what are all the negatives about using? For abusing substances, positives are always short-term and negatives are long-term and can be short term, as well. Knowing their internal triggers is crucial (second column from left as we go over in group) and knowing the short-term positive rewards they get from using substances (second column from right as we go over in group), these are clues of what they get out of their drug or alcohol  habits. When we know that, this understanding addiction, it gives us insight into what the sober alternatives might be. In other words, what kind of sober support plan fills those same needs? Also, under long term negative consequences (right column), emotional category “D”, this is a likely contributor for overall substance use. Knowing that is huge in understanding addiction. So how you describe that emotional category “D” could give you a lot of insight, as well. Knowing their internal triggers, second column from the left, is equally important. 

Take away: Do you see any patterns? Do you see what your loved one gets out of using behavior? We are going to use these findings to develop a new plan. If ____is a big trigger for drug or alcohol using behavior, then we will work to find different ways they can deal with this trigger. 

More take away: Then, if ____ is a rewarding consequence for them, we will try to locate something else, something sober to do, that can give your loved one the same effect. 

As you begin CRAFT and as you get to practice what you learn, you may find that podcasts are a good support for that. Podcasts are a great way for family members to understand addiction, in an in-depth way, and to learn about the effects of addiction on the family. I share multiple podcast links that I have found to be priceless within the CRAFT series. 

Nancy Hamilton - Certified CRAFT Coach

One of the CRAFT sobriety sessions covers the important topic of how to communicate about addiction. The basic power we, as family members, have is we can change the family dynamics to make for better, more positive changes to come. The reason we aim for positive communication with addiction is it increases the likelihood that we accomplish that, and that we get what we want. Plus, positive communication is contagious in that when we speak positively, then everyone else is more likely to follow that lead. In addition, it can become a habit for you in that you can use it in all areas of your life and with a variety of people and situations. In CRAFT, we still use shaping behavior overall, and part of that is having our loved ones know when they are on the right sobriety track and when they are on the wrong addiction track. So, firmer words may be needed when appropriate but even then, adding positive encouragement will give them something to aim for. And it will decrease the likelihood of negative defensiveness, or of your loved one shutting you out. Note: How to communicate about addiction  with your son or how to communicate about addiction with your daughter, or with a spouse or partner, it should not mean you are being unnaturally cheerful. You are simply being productive and you’re doing what works. We'll go over many examples this!

How to Communicate About Addiction Guide: 

There are seven key points to use for how to communicate about addiction, and we'll go over this in depth and with many useful examples. But in addition, tone matters and volume matters. With drug addiction or alcohol addiction, yelling or being emotionally reactive are two of the hardest things family members need to master, but it’s within your reach and within your control. And just know this. When we yell, we model yelling. And what yelling does is it has a negative effect towards the sober results you want. Confrontation is the archenemy of sober change so right there is the reason not to do this. With the stress of addiction in the family, it takes awareness to mindfully speak, versus simply reacting. And it takes awareness to intentionally try new techniques instead of falling back into old communication styles. In those moments, take a deep breath, and with awareness, see what your options are. So, for how to communicate about addiction,  the more you do this with awareness, the more you’ll find you have power over the results. That’s not a small thing. Even if you think “I react emotionally and this is just who I am”, you can change that. The philosopher Alan Watts reminds all of us of: "You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."

Just know that being non-confrontational does not mean you are doing nothing, nor does it mean that you intend to tip-toe around the drug and alcohol issues. Instead, think of you both as being together as a team on this. It’s not you versus your loved one but it is both of you working together on the addiction problem in collaboration. The evidence shows us that your involvement, using positive communication skills, is influential in helping to motivate sobriety. Then, this gets supercharged when we add the other CRAFT concepts throughout CRAFT. In other words, how to communicate about addiction is the foundation for the other CRAFT procedures that we will cover. 

Words are the key, and you have great power when you use your words to positively shape outcome. Fit compliments in when you can and only when it is appropriate. See the good so you can say the good. Lift your person up when it fits and when it's true. Some examples of powerful statements: “It’s nice to be with you when you are sober”, “You seem more and more like yourself now that you are not drinking”, “You’ve come a long way”, “I can see, little by little, your positive work is paying off”, “You are doing better, keep up the good work”, “You’re smart and you are going to figure this out“, “You can do this, there is strength in you”, “You can do anything you set your mind to”, “You should be so proud of yourself”. 

How to communicate about addiction with positive communication skills should be played out in real life, and not just in your head. So, say the words out loud and see how they sound. Try putting it all together. You can play with the order and wording, all while making it sound natural for you and how you would say things. And remember, even being perfect at positive communication will not guarantee results. But it will increase the likelihood that you will be heard, which is an important first step to getting what you want. So, as to how to communicate about addiction with your son or how to communicate about addiction with your daughter, or spouse or partner, you can do this with ease once you have the tools.

Three Major Goals as a Recap:

Reduce loved one’s harmful substance use.

Engage the user into treatment or into staying in treatment.

Self-care. It’s about your emotional, physical, and mental wellbeing, and that is independent of substance user’s behavior. 

Nancy Hamilton - Certified CRAFT Coach

How to stop enabling is actually an easier transition than you might imagine. It's simply a mental shift along with a few rules to follow. One of the CRAFT sobriety sessions focuses on rewarding for sober behavior only. That's key in how to stop enabling. It’s a way to support clean, sober behavior with positive rewards so that your loved one directly links rewards with their own sober behavior. And it will make your person want to repeat the sober behavior so that they can be rewarded again. 

When it comes to how to stop enabling, there are two basic principles of reinforcement: 

1. Enhance positive reinforcement for sober behavior only, so introducing rewards for healthy behavior. We focus on principles of reinforcement or reward. We want the non-using lifestyle to be more rewarding than one focused on alcohol and drugs. Reward your person in sober ways. What do they like to do? Have this planned out because it will take a little thinking and follow through. 

2. Eliminate positive reinforcement for substance use behavior. This involves taking away the rewards associated with their drug use or alcohol use. It is the “carrot and stick” approach. The CRAFT program helps us to see that we have some control over making sure rewards are not associated with substance abuse in the future. For example, you may be letting your loved one sleep in late after using substances the night before. CRAFT involves introducing a change so that this “reward” of sleeping in is no longer available on the mornings after substance use, and that is one step in the right direction for how to stop enabling.

Positive reinforcement and reward: Positive reinforcement is a reward or something your loved one sees as a treat or something that is experienced as pleasurable. It makes your loved one want to repeat the behavior that got them the reward in the first place. You'll have your own examples of rewards that could be used and simply complimenting and acknowledging your person's progress is a reward not to overlook. Words have power.

When deciding to reward or not reward, it is super important to know when your loved one is using drugs or alcohol. As we talk about in the communication session, one reason to know if they are using is to keep that as a time not to try any communication. “Now is not a good time, I will talk with you when you are sober” is an example of stepping away and finding a sober moment to communicate at another time. Communication is about selecting the right time and that includes having your loved one clean and sober. But there is another reason to know when your loved one is using drugs or alcohol because you choose to reward at sober times only. We go over, in detail, the common signs of drug and alcohol use. Sometimes family members are very good at knowing when their loved one is abusing substances and sometimes family member believe what words are being said instead of the actual signs of substance abuse. So, trust your eyes. 

In addition, we also want to be sure that we are making good use of the times when they are sober, and that’s when rewards can take place, and communication as to why the reward is being given can also take place. Examples of that communication might be “You’ve been working hard at your sobriety and you deserve something special”, or “You’ve got to be proud at how far you’ve come so let’s celebrate that”, or “It’s so nice to have you sober and it just makes me want to hang out with you”, or “You’re reminding me of how fun it is to have a nice dinner together and so I’ve made your favorite meal”. 

Enabling: 

How to stop enabling fits in this way. Enabling is typically unintentional, but it is harmful, nonetheless. Enabling  involves rewarding your loved one when they are using substances. Or it involves making it easier for your son or daughter, or spouse or partner,  to use alcohol or drugs. Enabling simply rewards drug or alcohol using behavior.  Enabling is accidental and nobody sets out to enable. Just know that enabling is not done with the intention of increasing substance abuse and yet that is the result. We go over this in detail as enabling can be a habit long overlooked. 

Rewards should also be proportional. So, if a sober milestone has been reached, go on that weekend getaway. But if it’s a simple step of sobriety, a simple reward would be a better match. A smile, an encouraging text, or a nice meal would likely be appreciated. Maybe a Netflix series with popcorn would be just right. Overall, activities are typically better than material things when it comes to rewards, and you will know better than anyone what your loved one would value as a reward. 

Rewards can be low-key and everyday like a special meal or even as simple as a verbal compliment, or even a positive text.  We go over multiple teen examples, reward versus enabling, multiple young adult examples, and spouse and partner examples of each, as well.

Nancy Hamilton - Certified CRAFT Coach